I would not be who I am if it wasn’t for these books

One thing about me is that I’m a whore for books. The fresh smell of the inked paper, the feeling of the pages, and the weight of the book on the back of my palms are enough to get me going. Okay, enough on that topic LOL, let me move on and introduce the books that have changed my life:

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

I usually don’t recommend this book to anyone because of its many trigger warnings so please don’t read this if you are easily triggered. But, I feel like this list wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention this book. For some reason, I am obsessed with books that rip out my heart and stomp on it till the depths of my soul are incomprehensible. Okay, that was dark…I know! I don’t know why I love extremely depressing, tragedy books but I do and I’m not ashamed. 

This book made me cry my eyes out and it also helped me realize how much I love reading. Growing up, I’ve always loved reading but I lost touch with this hobby of mine once I reached middle school. Luckily, this is one of the few first books I decided to read when I decided to get into reading again and I’m so glad I did. This book was one of the reasons why I even started my personal 2022 reading challenge (which I will talk about in another post).

No exaggeration here but my face was glued to this book from the beginning to the end. I felt like I was living in the same world as the characters and the way in which Yanagihara wrote this made me feel the same emotions as the characters, which is one of the most beautiful things that I find so fascinating with the art of reading. This book basically follows the lives of a group of males who became friends in college. While I usually gravitate towards books with a female perspective, this is the one book in which I felt like I was able to truly understand and resonate with the male characters, and to be honest, I became attached to one of them, Willem💛. UGH, just writing this is giving me goosebumps. If you’re a freak like me and love books that make you sob, I highly recommend this book (but please consider the trigger warnings first, of course).

Why Didn’t They Teach Me This In School? by Cary Siegel

I’m sort of a sucka for finance books and this was the first book I read when I first started my financial literacy journey. I didn’t realize how illiterate I was until I read this book. Before I picked up this book, I was in a ton of credit debt, I compulsively shopped online, and I avoided looking at my bank statements. I remember discussing this with my sister-in-law (SIL), who grew up in a household that talks about finance at the dinner table, and that’s when she recommended I should enrich my financial education by first reading this book. And not to be dramatic…but this book truly saved me (SIL if you’re reading this, thank you so much).

Most of what you read in this book may be already knowledge that you’ve already learned from your parents. But if you’re like me, who grew up in an immigrant household that has often struggled financially, the majority of what I read in this book was new to me. This book led me to read more finance books that completely altered my financial state and mindset. So, although there are a ton of other great finance books that I could recommend, I urge you to start with this book first if you’re new to the financial literacy world. It’s crucial that you begin your journey reading ‘soft’ finance books and build foundational knowledge first.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

First, it’s the title that caught my attention; how could you not pick up this book?

As I was beginning my self-healing journey post-undergrad, I was desperate to learn how to stop caring so much about what other people think about me. If you’re desi, you already know that our culture goes ham in this, and if I could have a penny for every time my mom said “manosh ki mone korbe?” (what would people think?), I’d be a multi-millionaire by now. This is not to put the entire blame on my mom (whom I dearly love) but this kind of mindset was just passed down to her as it was for me and my siblings (gotta love that intergenerational trauma). Anyways, I realized how debilitating this kind of mindset is and it was one of the core triggers for my anxiety. 

While to a *certain extent* it is important to care about what other people think, making decisions revolving around other people’s perspectives of you and their feelings is not the kind of life I wanted to live. I wanted to be in control and that’s what this book helped me with. The key is to manage the amount of f*cks you give to everything. Like why would you give a f*uck about what a financially illiterate person thinks about the way you spend your money?

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Look, I try to steer clear from TikTok trendy books but I couldn’t resist the urge once I read the title. Like wow, what an attention grabber, am I right?

This book made me cry, laugh, and gasp all at the same time. I really resonated with McCurdy’s words and her toxic relationship with her mom. While my dynamic with my mom is nowhere similar to hers, it was intensely complicated and toxic for several years, and as fucked as it is, it feels humbling and refreshing to know that people, who seem to have it all, struggle with the same kind of struggles that we, normal civilians, do. Reading this book really took me by surprise. As someone who grew up watching iCarly, I remember admiring her beauty and wishing that I lived the same life as her because she must have ‘everything’. Who could’ve known she was struggling so much? (I mean that just gets to show you how much of an amazing actor she is).

Anyways, her book really made me look at life a little differently. You never really know what someone is going through and celebrities are normal, regular humans too (which is odd that I even have to say but come on, sometimes we put celebrities on a pedestal and worship them like they’re some sort of god). But I digress. This book made me love McCurdy even more. Writing and publishing this book was so goddamn badass of her and her vulnerability and strength are what really helped me during my self-healing journey (so thank you beautiful💛).

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I don’t really read spiritual books but one of my favorite YouTubers, Tam Kaur (if you’re reading this, I love you💛) recommended this particular book. Going into this, I didn’t really know what to expect but HOLY FUCK, once I did, I had a major revelation. 

For many years, I’ve been searching for an answer to one of the problems that I’d discussed with my previous therapists and this book finally gave me the answer I’ve needed all along. 

I spent the majority of my life reliving past trauma and stressing about the future and the what-ifs that I didn’t feel truly present nor did I feel connected to myself. For several years, I struggled with understanding my emotions and listening to my intuition; that’s how disconnected I was. This book ultimately helped me realize that I just wasn’t being present and how common and normalized this issue is in our society. Along with helping me realize this, it also gave useful tips on how to learn to be more present and it also led me to one of my passions, yoga and tai chi💛. It also led me to practice meditation and now I really do understand the purpose behind it. I had practiced meditation in the past but I easily gave up because of all the ruminating thoughts I had while doing it. I thought I sucked at it and that it was just not for me. This book taught me that that’s the ultimate reason to continue meditating so that you can practice simply observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment until you reach the point of just being🧘🏽.